Some Days
by ferryboatscrubcaps
Summary: In which Amelia battles her inner demons- day by day.
1. Chapter 1

Day 1,814

She felt as if she were in slow motion as she weaved through the people of Joe's bar. She bumped a few shoulders as she made her way over and plopped down on the creaky bar stool. The bartender looked at her like he was making a first impression. Since she had never been to Joe's before, she was a foreigner to everyone here.

After being rejected and burned by two of the maybe five people she truly cared about in Seattle, she was drowning in self-pity and shame. She did the only thing she knew to do when she felt she had nowhere else to turn. Sadly, there were other things she could've done. But lately, the poison she once so deeply craved came knocking again, tempting her. But she was scared, so, so scared, of what it would do to her.

 _I can tell you're still testing the water_

 _And don't know how to begin_

 _But this is a moment, you can't hesitate or slow down_

 _Just gotta dive right in_

After sipping a water with glassy eyes for what seemed like forever, she ordered a vodka when a sort of familiar man sat down beside her. As the bartender sat down the glass, her eyes focused in on the poison in front of her. She got wrapped up in the glass, taking in the beads of sweat running down its sides and the perfect shape of the ice cubes it held. Then, suddenly, she picked it up and tipped it back along with her curly brunette head.

As the cold liquid sparked up every taste bud on her tongue and ran down her throat, cooling it, she tilted her head back more and stared off. It's been so long. And damn, she'd forgotten how good it was. But damn, she knew she was going to regret this in the morning when she woke up with a pounding head puking her guts out. After 1800 days, she'd fell off. Shit.

 _I can see your eyes flood with desire_

 _And fear that you might capsize_

Despite the fear that grabbed her organs and churned them in her body, she took another drink. And another. And another. She lost herself in the act of changing out glasses with the bartender every 20 minutes. The thought of what she was doing erased away, leaving her with complete desire and want. She kept ordering vodka after vodka. The man beside her watched with a smirk.

After about 6 glasses of vodka, Joe persuaded her keys from her purse and called her a cab. She didn't know where to go, though. She got kicked out of Meredith's and Owen rejected her. She had no one else here, except Maggie and Richard. Surely Maggie would understand and convince Meredith to let her back in, at least for one night so she could gather her things. She scrolled through her phone to Maggie's contact, but just before she clicked it, she saw his name. The dealer was probably parked behind Joe's, just like he was the night she scored some Oxy from him after she blew up on Richard. She clicked his number instead and, after arranging to buy two bags from him, headed out of Joe's.

 _But this is the moment and oh, you can control it_

 _So even though you're terrified_

She slipped down the alley beside of Joe's and speed walked to the car with tinted windows idling on the curb. The window slid down slowly and revealed the face of the junky doctor whom then stuck his hand out the window. Amelia dug around inside her purse then placed two twenty's in his hand. He stuck a tiny bag of crystallized Oxy out of the window. He nodded, Amelia returned it, and she headed off. She ignored the cab parked outside of Joe's for her and walked across the street to the hospital. Yes, the hospital was probably one of the worst places to go right now, but she couldn't show her face at Meredith's yet. Especially not while she was halfway drunk and equipped with the drugs that killed her ex-fiancé. She shoved the small baggy in her purse after running her fingers over the smooth package and opened the hospital door. She didn't know who was on-call tonight, but she was hoping it wasn't Owen. God, please don't let Owen be here. She would just head to her locker, grab a change of clothes, and then leave and find a hotel to sleep off the big mistake weighing on her shoulders.

Upon entering the surgical floor, the first person she saw was, of course, Owen. She prayed she didn't look much different than her normal self. He was looking down at a tablet, standing at the nurses station, so she dropped her head and stared at the floor as she skimmed by him real quick. Yes! She made it to the locker room. She found her locker and started turning the dial of the lock, but she couldn't find the right combination in her mind. She tried a couple different things, but soon got frustrated. She slammed her fist into the door and yelled, "Dammit!" She crashed her head and arms onto the locker. Then she heard footsteps. "Amelia?" Dammit. It was him. "Please, go away." She sniffled, even though she wasn't crying. Surprisingly, he didn't push, he just parked himself on the locker room bench. She lifted her head, turned away from him, and ran into the bathroom.

 _Fall with me to the open water_

 _There is no lifeline to climb_

 _The deeper you go, swallowed by the undertow_

 _The more you feel alive_

She dug around for the baggy. When she felt the slick, thin plastic rub over her index finger, she breathed a sigh of relief. She opened it. The smell drifted out and made her nose sting. Wow, it had been so long. She still would never forget how to do this, though. She dumbed a little mound of the crystal Oxy in her left palm, leaned down and snorted it up her nostril. She picked herself back up, making sure it went down okay. She looked in the mirror, fixed herself a bit and walked back out, ready to face him, whom she knew would realize what she had done. She sauntered back over to the bench, ready for the confrontation. She stood at the edge of the bench, arms crossed, legs firm, and hip cocked out a little.

He looked up, resting his eyes on her face, taking in her appearance. She looked down at his hands folded, clenching. "Amelia," he cocked his head, "What have you been doing?"

"Ha," she laughed.

"Have you been drinking?" Complete concern filled his big, blue eyes.

"Yes."

"Amelia, why?" He ran a hand over his face and wrinkled his eyebrows.

"Why do you care?" She tried to walk past him and leave, but his hand grabbed hers and stopped her.

"Of course I care, Amelia. You've been doing so well for so long. You've been sober for, what, 4 years now? What happened?" He stroked her hand with his thumb, but she jerked hers away.

"What happened?! My sis- Meredith- completely turned on me. Screwed me over, said I wasn't her sister after everything we've been through together. Then you- pushed me away. I had nowhere else to turn, Owen. I didn't know what else to do. So, I walked across the street, had about 5 or 6 glasses of vodka and even scored some Oxy! I'm on a roll!" She ranted. Owen looked at her with complete sorrow and pity.

"Amelia, I- I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I can't believe- I- this is my fault. Damn, I'm so sorry." He dropped his head.

"It's not your fault, Owen. It's mine. I lost my sister, you, and now a place to live."

"She kicked you out?"

"Yes."

"You can come stay with me. I can hel-," He offered, but got cut off.

"No. I'm going to a hotel. I'll see you at work tomorrow." She turned and strutted away, leaving him with a heavy heart.

 _I can tell you the truth you're seeking_

 _It's here if you'd let it go_

 _Just relax, let the waves crash at your back_

 _Give into the unknown_

As she laid down in the unfamiliar, cold bed that night, her mind at ease, but her blood racing through her veins, she found herself thinking back to Meredith and Owen. She could fix this. This was partly her fault. Yes, Meredith betrayed her, but she only pushed it further. Owen did reject her, but she didn't have to resort to the poison that was coursing through her veins. Tomorrow it was back to Day 1. A fresh start, a clean slate. She needed people, though. To start all over and fix this bad, bad mistake, she would need people. She needed to reconcile with Meredith and Owen. She knew Owen would welcome it openly, Meredith, however, wasn't that easy to mend things with.

Her eyelids drooped and her breathing slowed a tad. Tomorrow was Day 1. Again. She could do it. She knew she could. She would need some help, but she could do it. She had people. She just has to reach out and seek their help. She could do this. She can. She will.

 _So let the cool water wash away_

 _The times that you've been burned before_

 _And we'll ride on the tide_

 _Until we're back to shore_


	2. Chapter 2

Day 1

 _Pick it up, pick it all up_

 _And start again_

Amelia's eyes drifted open, her body waking up early due to the fact she was nuzzled in between cold, unfamiliar sheets. Also due to the fact that there was a knocking on the door. She clicked the home button on her phone; the screen read 2:03 AM. Who is knocking on her hotel room door at two in the morning?

She made herself get up and saunter over to the door. Each step she took released a pound in her head. She scrunched her face up at the pain. She turned the knob and opened the door loose from the latch. She should have known. Owen, of course, was standing at her door. His forehead was beaded with a little bit of sweat and his face was red, his eyes tired and drooping.

"What are you doing here?" Amelia asked, rubbing her eyes.

"I looked everywhere for you. At Meredith's, at Joe's, in every on-call room in the hospital, and nine different hotels in the city." Owen ranted out, breathing sort of heavily.

"Why did you do that? I told you I would be at a hotel." She said nonchalantly.

"Because I was worried about you!" He raised his voice a little. "You had been drinking. I didn't know what else you may do. And this is partially my fault, so-," He said.

"It's not your fault, Owen. I fell back off the wagon. After almost 5 years, I fell off. That's my fault and no one else's but mine." She explained, clutching the door with her fingernails digging into the wood.

"I pushed you away then you went to Joe's. I blame myself, at least a little, Amelia." Owen's worried eyes scanned her face and body, making sure she was alright. Then his eyes wondered to the room behind her.

Amelia let go of the door and walked inside. Her hand brushed through her hair, her eyes were droopy and lazy, filled with pain, and her head still pounded. She dropped her head a bit and massaged it with her palm. "Owen, I feel terrible. Physically and mentally. I hate myself for doing this. It was only a couple of drinks, but I hate myself for it. My head hurts, I'm exhausted, and I need sleep," She said as he stepped into the room. "If I'm going to work tomorrow, I need to sleep. So please, can you go?"

"Come home with me, Amelia. Please. I want to help you fix this. You can stay with me, sleep there." Owen offered.

 _You've got a second chance_

 _You could go home_

 _Escape it all_

 _It's just irrelevant_

As Amelia searched for words to say, Owen scanned the room with his eyes, looking for signs of anything. Nothing in particular, just anything. Everything about the hotel room looked normal, untouched and simple. The bed sheets were ruffled up and tossed back and Amelia's things laid on the table. Finally, just as Amelia opened her mouth to speak, he saw something.

"That's not a good idea, Owen," she said coldly.

Owen walked over to the counter of the room with Amelia's eyes on him. He picked up a small baggy, half empty. He knew it had been used because of the thin layer of powder coating the top half of the bag. He grazed his fingers over it, and without look at Amelia, said, "Did you?"

When no response followed, he looked up at her. Her eyes were fixated, looking right in front of her. They were glassy. Her lip quivered a bit. But she would not cry. Not now. Not in front of Owen. She had just hit rock bottom about an hour before he showed up at her door, but she wouldn't show him that. She couldn't unfold all of her layers in front of him, not right now. She was too weak, too vulnerable. She bit her lip, hard, to hide the hurt she had bottled up inside of her.

 _It's just medicine_

There in the darkness of the hotel room, only lighten a little by the glow of the hall light, Owen placed the baggy on the counter. He took a step towards Amelia, who was still frozen in place. As she tried to hold back the tears, he reached out and grabbed her hand. He squeezed tightly and stepped closer to her.

"Why?" He asked. He didn't understand, she thought. He didn't get what it felt like to be at the end of the rope and have nowhere to go. She had let go of her rope and hit the ground hard. With no one around, no one to help.

"You- you wouldn't understand, Owen. I had to. I-," her voice quivered a little, "I hate that I did it, but I did."

 _It's just medicine_

She tried to pull her hand away, knowing his touch would make her completely weak, but he wouldn't let her.

"Amelia, I can help you. We can get through this. I promise." His baby blues locked in on hers, pulling on her heartstrings.

 _You could still be_

 _What you want to_

 _What you said you were_

 _When I met you_

"Owen, I can't!" Amelia said, voice raised, jerking her hand out of his. As her blood pressure skyrocketed as did her heart rate, she bolted to the counter and grabbed the baggy of oxy as if it were the last drop of water in the desert.

"Amelia, please, don't do this." Owen said, keeping his calm. She looked at him, silent and still. "Please. I need you, Amelia. I won't make it without you. You're my… person or whatever. I need you to get by. So please, don't destroy yourself," Amelia's lip started to quiver again as her heart beat slowed back down. "Don't destroy the person I love, Amelia. Don't do that to me… or to yourself. Look at you. It's only been one day, you can stop now. It will be a lot easier now than on down the road." By now in Owen's speech, Amelia had grown weak at the knees and she knew if he didn't stop soon, the tears would spill out against her will. Owen held his hand out, "Give it to me." He said. Amelia just looked at him. "Give it to me, Amelia." He raised his eyebrows, waiting on her. "Please."

Amelia gripped the baggy so tightly in her fingers it should've busted before stepping closer to Owen and holding out the baggy for him to take from her. It was so hard to hold her hand out and offer up her escape, her poison. But she did it. For him.

 _You've got a warm heart_

 _You've got a beautiful brain_

 _But it's disintegrating_

 _From all the medicine_

 _Medicine_

She didn't break down, though, like last time when he took it from her. Instead she stood frozen in place, eyes locked on Owen's and feet like unmoving boulders. She waited for him to do something. He waited for her.

When he thought she was ready, he stepped forward and took her into his strong arms. His warmth enveloped her. Amazingly, she didn't break down, she didn't cry. She just squeezed him tight. He supported her weight on him as he stroked and kissed her hair. She suddenly felt a little better. In his embrace, she would be unwavering and sure.

 _You could still be_

 _What you want to_

 _What you said you were_

 _When you met me_

 _When I met you_


	3. Chapter 3

Day 1- cont.

The water sprayed from the shower head and soaked the redhead, waking him up while soothing him as well. It was nice to have a little time to think after the past 12 hours. He only got about 4 hours of sleep after making it home with Amelia, but he woke up early like always. He had an internal alarm clock that never, ever failed.

She stirred in the bed, hearing the faint sound of the shower. She tossed and turned for a few minutes, not daring to open her eyes and face the massive headache she knew she would have. The hangover pounded in her head already and the light of the sun seeping through the trailer windows would only worsen it. She knew she would have to face it eventually, just like she would have to face Owen, so she went ahead and opened her eyes and sat up in the bed.

 _I guess you really did it this time_

 _Left yourself in your warpath_

Her head pounded as if a tiny elf was placed in her brain, tapping on her skull with a hammer in an attempt to escape. She rubbed her temples to try to ease the pain, then swung her feet around to the side of the bed. She needed to splash her face with water, which would help, but didn't want to intrude on Owen in the shower, since they aren't really a thing. Well, she doesn't know what they are. Amelia went into the kitchen, walking slowly, instead and used the kitchen sink.

As the cold water hit her face, her pores awakened and shook her from her slump. Although she felt better, her head still fiercely pounded against her skull. Amelia became a brain surgeon because of all the shitty things she had done to hers. The drugs, alcohol, and all the stress she'd suffered put a toll on her brain and she thought she could make up for it- by fixing other people's brains. But time after time, she'd fed hers its poison. What kind of brain surgeon did that?

 _Lost your balance on a tightrope_

 _Lost your mind trying to get it back_

She braced herself against the counter, then heard the shower cut off. She lingered in the kitchen for a moment, then went back to the tiny bedroom, knowing Owen would be out in just a second. As if right on cue, he ascended from the shower. Her petite figure was braced on the bed and she was trying to get her shoes on.

"Amelia, don't leave." He said sternly, pulling a tshirt over his head. She shot him a discerned look and kept on.

"Take a shower, wake yourself up. I'll get you some pain killers." His eyes shot sympathy and care into her own, convincing her to take his advice. "Okay," she murmured. She stood up and walked towards the shower. Owen's request stopped her in her tracks, "Will you please go to a meeting?"

She turned around slowly, looking at him. He raised his eyebrows and continued, "Please, go to a meeting. You need to. I'm sure Richard will go with you, if you want. Just go, please. It'll help."

 _Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?_

 _Always a bigger bed to crawl into_

"I know. I will," She responded. "Thank you." Amelia walked back towards the shower, took off Owen's Army tshirt and sweatpants and stepped into the shower. The warm water calmed her senses, making her thoughts calm as well. She washed her face first, stripping the shame away. As she showered, she thought about Owen's request. By the time she turned the faucet off, she had realized what she needed to do. She dried herself off and slipped into the clothes Owen laid neatly on the small bathroom sink counter for her. She opened the bathroom door and slowly turned the counter. As she walked into the bedroom slowly and sheepishly, Owen looked up from the nightstand where he had just sat a glass of water and some pain killers for Amelia.

 _Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything?_

 _And everybody believed in you?_

As his blue eyes met her own, she almost melted right then and there, and she knew she had to ask.

"Would you mind going with me?" She said shyly. "To a meeting."

"Me?" He questioned, taken back by her request. She nodded. "Of course, if you want me to be there, I'll be there." He said. He realized what big step she had just taken, asking him out of everyone to go with her.

"I don't really feel comfortable with anyone else… so, if you don't mind, I'd like for you to come with me." She explained, going further into the bedroom.

"I'll be right beside you, Amelia." He said.

 _It's alright, just wait and see_

 _Your string of lights is still bright to me_

 _Oh, who you are is not where you've been_

"Thank you."

She stood slowly, shaking a little. His hand gave hers a little squeeze, giving her some strength.

"I'm Amelia."

"Hi, Amelia," the group answered.

"I was sober for 1, 814 days. But then, I fell off the wagon after five years of sobriety. This was just yesterday… and I still can't believe I did it. How did I lose my sobriety after five years? How did I do that? I walked into a bar, ordered a vodka tonic, and took a sip before I could stop myself. I hate myself for it. But the only thing I can do is get back on. Is to fight, and not take another drink. Not do anymore drugs. It felt… God, it felt so good, though. I know now why I did that for so long- for the feeling. But, I have to stop. I can't be a neurosurgeon and a druggy. My career, my family, my friends, my life comes first. Before the drugs and alcohol- my life is first. So I have to stop- I will stop."

She smiled slightly, sat down, and grabbed Owen's hand immediately as the sound of applause filled the room- wall to wall. She tuned out as other shared their story as well. Instead she thought about Owen, about their future, and about her future. How would she get past this?

 _Did some things you can't speak of_

 _But at night you'll live it all again_

 _You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now_

 _If only you had seen what you know now then_

The silence that the truck was full of was deafening. It was like a sheet of ice, with one good tap it would shatter. Amelia fidgeted with her hands while Owen had one of his on the steering wheel. He stopped at a stoplight and looked over at Amelia.

"Amelia," He said, kind of quietly. She looked up at him right on cue, glad he finally broke the ice.

"Yeah?" She asked.

"Are you… alright?" He asked.

"I'm really freaking pissed at myself and worried and overwhelmed… so, no, I'm not at my best right now." She said, with the usual tone of sarcasm to her voice.

"Are you okay to work, you think? How's your head feeling?"

"It's fine. I want to work." She said. Another wave of silence filled the truck cab, neither of them knowing what to say.

"I'm going to do this, Owen. I'm going to stop, again, for good. It was just one slip up, I'm not saying that makes it any less real, but it almost makes it easier. I can do this." She said, very determinedly.

He reached his hand over the middle console of his truck and grabbed her leg, giving it a tight squeeze. Her hand immediately went to his, sitting on top of it and squeezing back.

"I just won't be able to do it alone, Owen. I'm going to need some support." She hesitated. "But I understand if this is too much for you, it usually is for most people in my life. So I'm giving you an out."

Stopped at another light, his head whipped towards Amelia.

"I don't want an out, Amelia. I want to be there, I want to help you. I'm going to as long as you let me. You're not going to be alone in this." He said, almost making Amelia's heart melt a little.

 _Time turns flames to embers_

 _You'll have new Septembers_

 _Every one of us has messed up too_

"Move in with me? I'm apartment hunting and well… it could be ours, Amelia, if you want that."

 _Lives change like the weather_

 _I hope you remember_

 _Today is never too late_

 _To be brand new_

For the first time since she took a swig of the vodka tonic at Joe's last night, a big smile splashed across Amelia's face. She nodded, graciously accepting Owen's offer. He smiled as well. He turned into the hospital and she drew in a deep breath. This would be hard. She knew that. But with him by her side combined with her own motivation… she could do it.


	4. Chapter 4

Day 2

After a short day at work avoiding everyone and another night spent at Owen's, Amelia woke up knowing she had to face a lot. She had to face all of her coworkers, especially Meredith. She needs her things from Meredith's house because she ran out of changes of clothes in her locker at the hospital. She would have to face reality.

 _Regrets collect like old friends_

 _Here to relive your darkest moments_

Right on cue, Amelia's pager started beeping. She groaned as she rolled over to face the nightstand beside of her, and groaned even louder when she read it. "Consult in the ER… from Meredith," She said, sounding quite annoyed, as she sat up in the bed and stretched. Owen, already awake, commented, "You have got to talk to her, Amelia."

"I know, I know. I just don't know what to say to her," She threw back the covers and stood up, then stretched again.

"Just tell her how you feel," Owen said. Amelia turned and widened her eyes at him and furrowed her eyebrows. "Really," he continued, "You should." He sighed. "Meredith's got a tough exterior. She's strong and she doesn't really bend. But underneath that, she's a softie. Especially for the people she loves."

"Meredith does not love me." Amelia said, pulling on her shirt from yesterday. Her face fell when she said it. She loved Meredith and she considered Meredith as her sister, but considering the last time they spoke, Meredith did not feel the same way.

"Yes, she does," Owen said, getting out of bed as well. "She didn't mean what she said, she loves you. You're her family." Amelia looked at him again with hurt all over her face. He really felt for her. She didn't have many people and now, she may have lost one of them.

 _I can see no way, I can see no way_

Meredith didn't even let Amelia close the door to the trauma room before she started firing off the stats, "23 years old, open abdominal wound with exposed organs, unconscious, obvious blunt head trauma." Amelia's eyes quickly traveled up the female patient's body, landing on her head which was almost blackened on the top left side and was sunken in.

"What happened to this poor girl?" Amelia asked, walking over to immediately start observing the wound.

Meredith responded robotically, "Fell from a five story building, she's lucky she's alive."

Amelia studied the woman's head wound carefully, noting how sunken in her head was and the extreme bruising. "Looks like her head broke her fall. Edwards," She turned her attention to the resident in the room. "Order a head CT stat. She definitely has a crushed skull, probably a subdural too, and most likely some permanent damage." She disposed of her blue gloves and grabbed her tablet, clicking through the patient's chart. "I'll see you in the observation room. This girl has got a long road ahead of her, if she survives." Amelia exited the room, Dr. Grey following right behind her.

 _And all of the ghouls come out to play_

 _And every demon wants his pound of flesh_

Amelia stopped at the nurses station in the ER and when she noticed that Meredith did too, she turned towards her. "Can we talk?" Meredith didn't even look up. "Please." Amelia said, almost coldly, but with a hint of innocence in her voice. Meredith looked up and motioned for Amelia to follow her as she walked to a nearby hallway, which was empty. She raised her eyebrows, waiting for Amelia to speak.

"I'm staying at Owen's. But I need to come by and get my things, I don't have any clean clothes left in my locker. Also, I'd like to see the kids, if that's okay with you. I don't want to just disappear from their lives. So, if it works out for you, I'll be by tonight after work to get my things and spend a few minutes with the kids, then I'll be out of your hair. If you need a babysitter anytime, let me know. We may not be on the best terms Meredith, but I love them as if they were my own and I want to be able to see them." Amelia nodded when she was done, then turned to walk away.

"I'm surprised you haven't been by sooner, are you alright? Is everything okay?" Meredith surprisingly asked Amelia, causing her to turn back around.

"Uhm, yes. I'm fine," Amelia said.

"When you come by later, I think we should talk. Clear things up," Meredith said.

"Sounds good to me," Amelia said, then turned and walked away, heading up to CT.

 _But I like to keep some things to myself_

 _I like to keep my issues strong_

After shooting Owen a quick text to let him know where she was going, Amelia left the hospital and drove towards the house she lived in 3 days ago. She felt herself getting more nervous as she grew closer to the house. She felt her stomach gurgle a little, but ignored it. She thought about what Meredith would say to her. Owen was sort of right, she realizes… Meredith didn't seem mad at all earlier when they talked, caring even.

She pulled into the driveway and got out of the car before she could convince herself not to. She knocked on the door and Maggie opened it. "Wow," Maggie said and raised her eyes in surprise, "Haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah, just came to get my things. I'm moving out," Amelia flashed Maggie a hurt smile.

"So I've heard. This really sucks… being stuck in the middle and all."

"I'm sorry," Amelia said as Maggie moved out of the way for Amelia to step inside. Immediately, Zola and Bailey saw their Aunt Amy and rushed to her side.

"Aunt Amy! Aunt Amy!" Amelia bent down to hug them both. "Where have you been?!" The two kids asked innocently.

"Sorry guys, I was really busy with work for a few days. I missed you both, and Ellis." She hugged them tighter, realizing how much she did miss them the past few days. They were enough to motivate her to sober up again. As the two let go of Amelia and returned back to their toys, she asked, "Speaking of Ellis, where's the little one?" She walked further into the house, then spotted Meredith cooking while holding Ellis. She shyly walked in, wanting to hug the baby girl.

"Hi, Meredith. Can I?" She motioned towards Ellis. Meredith handed her over and Amelia hugged the little girl lightly, breathing in her precious baby scent. Amelia cooed at the baby, "Hiiii, Ellie. I missed you girl," Amelia kissed her cheek.

"I'll come upstairs with you," Meredith said as she sat down a spatula she was using. Amelia handed Ellis to Maggie and followed Meredith upstairs. They entered Amelia's room and Amelia stopped, taking a deep breath, before walking over to her closet and pulling out a suitcase. She plopped the suitcase onto the bed and sighed.

"So, this shouldn't take long and then I'll be out of your hair," Amelia said, reaching over to her dresser to pull open the top drawer.

 _It's always darkest before the dawn_

"Amelia…" Meredith said. "I feel bad for what I said. I was wrong."

"So do I."

"I shouldn't have said you aren't my sister. You are. You were Derek's sister, and he's gone, so now you're mine." Meredith explained.

Amelia flinched a little at the mention of their argument. "You don't have to say that. I know you don't want me to be. That's fine. I can take it."

"But I do, Amelia. The other day, I was just… my judgement was clouded," Meredith paused for a moment. "You look just like him," She almost whispered. "The hair, the eyes, the face. You're like his twin. It's so hard to look at you sometimes. But, I need you." Meredith's words had made Amelia stop packing and look up at her.

 _Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground_

 _So I like to keep my issues strong_

"I know. I shouldn't have said what I said, Mere. I was wrong, too." Amelia explained.

"You were right about one thing. Derek wouldn't like the way I'm treating you," Meredith's eyes filled with sorrow as she looked at Amelia, something that didn't happen often. "I need you, Amelia. My kids miss you, they love you. Without Derek, I need help and you're the best I've got. So please, if you will, stay. You're my sister, after all," Meredith said, actually smiling at Amelia. What she had said broke through all of Amelia's built up anger and frustration at Meredith. She had broken straight through Amelia's walls and tugged on her heartstrings a little.

"I do miss the kids… and my sisters," Amelia said, stepping forward to hug Meredith. Another shocker- Meredith doesn't hug much. "I'm sorry I pushed about Owen. It wasn't my business. I'm sorry for the things I said, I didn't mean it. I just had a lot of pent up frustration, over everything. I guess I didn't think about the fact that you're grieving too." She said, pulling away from the hug.

"I did the same thing," Meredith said. "I'm sorry for not calling you. And for leaving. I was just thinking about myself and I left you here all alone."

 _It's always darkest before the dawn_

"I forgive you, Mere." Amelia said, smiling a little through the tears built up in her eyes. She walked over to the bed and picked the suitcase up, flinging it back into her closet where it usually sat. "Guess I won't be needing that anymore." Amelia laughed a little, then a whole other emotion crossed her face when she came to a realization.

"What?" Meredith asked.

"I've got to tell Owen I'm not moving in with him… Dammit." Amelia said, causing Meredith to laugh a little.

"Good luck."

 _It's hard to dance with a devil on your back_

 _So shake him off, oh whoa_


End file.
